Well, it’s that time again. Another year has flown by, and the end of 2015 is upon us. So, let’s take a look at all the fantastic things I accomplished over the past 365 years.
- Created my first (and last) clickbait headline (see above).
- Successfully consumed at least 550 liters of pure oxygen.
- Passed my own personal record for most consecutive days alive.
- Covered self with dangerous dihydrogen monoxide on multiple occasions and lived to tell about it.
- Managed to avoid gaining any weight, which could be very surprising news to anyone who is aware of my love for cookies.
- Did not kill father or sleep with mother.
- In March, I successfully avoided burning my house down even AFTER I found a spider within.
- Held a newborn infant without dropping it. BONUS: Child’s parents did not call the police.
- Successfully avoided becoming any shorter.
- Recirculated at least a gallon of blood constantly for an entire year.
So, let’s all take a minute, raise a glass, and congratulate ourselves on for making it through the year more or less intact. Cheers!